Oh my...yet another day in paradise

Yesterday, I awoke just after 4 a.m., I proceeded to prepare my coffee in order to have a calm morning with my coffee and a cigarette.  Oh lord, not to be.  For some reason, I decided to look out the window - oh my...there stands the biggest moose I have ever seen in my life.  One might wonder how I could see the big brut standing while in total darkness.  There is a big spot light at the roadway. 

I did not even think to venture out onto the porch, I got my coffee and came back to the window and was anticipating the moose to be where I left him.  Oh no - my oath - he is standing right there looking at me through the window!  Holy smucksville.  I near went to wake up Noisemaker, but then I thought - well, can he crash on up and break the walls of the house, he cannot go through the window - can he, no...ah, I wait and think...he is a big moose.  The window is near 8' off ground level, this brut is all head.  Noisemaker, Noisemaker...

I wait, I sit in darkness - afraid if I turn on a light Brut might turn on the side of owly.  Good grief, I spend near two hours waiting for Mr. Brut Moose to make some slight departure, I need porch time. 

I watched as the moose makes his way in some direction - I am not good with directions - I know it is safe now.  I proceed to the porch, ah relief!  There is peace.  I am safe.

Noisemaker awakens, I race in - all in a flutter - Noisemaker, Noisemaker - there was a big huge moose this morning right here at the window.  Noisemaker says - he is quite certain it is not that big.  First light, Noisemaker goes out and looks at the tracks. 

Comes back in and lets me know - he knows his moose.  Tells me from the tracks, the indentations in the snow...that sucker was big...did you see the tracks, indentations - where it laid down?  Oh, Noisemaker, I reply - I saw it all.  But now because you saw it - all is well.

Noisemaker, Noisemaker - you have no complaints
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up buster and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood
Signed - Your Wife

John Prine - Dear Abby (well, of course - not the wife part)